Deseos Posibles

Y qué bonito es. El amor, digo. Qué bonito, ¿no? No tener la necesidad de hacer el mal, sino el bien. Hacerle sentir bien. Verlo ilusionado. Que sonría. Porque cuando sueltas los ¨tiene que ser…¨ o ¨ Debería actuar…¨ o ¨Porque no siente…¨, cuando reducimos al máximo estas premisas creadas bajo el yugo de los deseos propios y permitimos a la otra persona SER, bajo la libertad de amarlo así, no hay dudas, porque es simple y lo simple lleva sonrisa, te sienta de maravilla. No aprieta y no estorba, solo hace brillar…
Podría escribir hasta el fin de mis días sobre el amor y nunca encontraría las palabras para definirlo realmente. Y es que a veces siento que hay palabras que no tienen definición, pero si infinitas formas de sentirlo, respirarlo, vivirlo y tal vez rozar la definición después de lo experimentado…

Ojalá no temiéramos perder, ojalá aceptáramos que nada es nuestro y que no existen las posesiones sino las experiencias y oportunidades. No se puede disfrutar aquello de lo que no podemos renunciar. Por eso intento vivir sin apegarme, sin necesitar, pero joder, sí que es complicado… no exigiendo, prefiriendo y disfrutando.

Que su presencia me hace feliz. Solo sé que hay algo entre nosotros que nunca va a morir, y se llama amor. Porque estamos trabajando por tener el amor más sincero, más puro y real que podamos conseguir… pero ¿Cómo lo explico? Me hace feliz pensarle y recordarle. No tengo claro que somos (ni siquiera sé si algún día lo sabremos…) pero cada vez que estamos juntos lo disfruto más que nunca. Se me olvida el mundo. Es como si solo estuviéramos los dos. Sus ojos mirando los míos y sus manos entrelazadas en las mías. ¿Cómo puedo no perderme?

Perdón si muchas veces no consigo ser lo que me gustaría ser y entorpecer lo que queremos tener, perdón por dejar salir mi parte egoísta, malcriada e insegura. Ojalá algún día consiga ser más sana, más libre y dejarte SER sin miedo a mi dolor. Mientras tanto le pido perdón por el daño causado en la batalla, por las piedras del camino que no consigo apartar rápidamente. Pero espero que no dude jamás, y es que le amo como jamás pensé hacerlo, siempre será mi rosa, aquella que contemplare una y mil veces su eterna belleza.

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