Miedo a la intimidad

Reflexiona, ¿Cómo son nuestras relaciones hoy día? ¿Cómo nos relacionamos? El concepto de realidad es diferente para cada persona y definir todas estas cuestiones hoy día es complicado. Sin embargo, creo que hay muchas cuestiones comunes sobre las que deberíamos pararnos a reflexionar, siempre teniendo en cuenta lo que decía Ortega y Gasset ¨cada uno somos uno y sus circunstancias¨.

Aunque intentemos definir el amor, la experiencia es diferente con cada persona. Nunca he tenido que esconder lo que sentía en un juego tan absurdo en el que perdía quien se enamoraba. Yo no sé jugar a ese juego de no sentir y lo más importante era que no quería aprender a hacerlo.

El amor hoy en día, miro a mi alrededor y siempre hay la sensación como de algo malo, algo en lo que solo unos afortunados tienen suerte, y yo me pregunto ¿cómo es posible si ahora hay mucha más libertad?, ¿si hay menos estigmas sociales? Desde luego que no es igual que hace 50 años atrás. La soltería no quiere decir que te pase algo o seas ¨rara¨, hoy en día las personas podemos elegir y vivir como queremos, las personas homosexuales ya pueden expresar su amor libremente, y las chicas ya no esperan su príncipe azul, sino que puede ser blanco, amarillo, del color que quiera. Puedes tener una pareja, o tres o las que quieras a la vez.

El sexo ya no es un tabú, puedes tener sexo sin compromiso si quieres. Vivimos en la era del todo vale, mientras sea acordado (en teoría) y somos la generación más ¨fiel¨, ya no aguantamos nada porque si y es que cuando algo no nos gusta no reparamos en tirarlo, una camiseta, unos vaqueros o el chico con el que estabas quedando unos meses con el cual simplemente se apagó ¨la llama¨.

Las redes sociales y su uso temprano puede que sea uno de los problemas de porque somos incapaces de esas relaciones personales cercanas, viviendo en un mundo donde es mejor no hablar a la cara y poderse esconder bajo un escudo, mostrar a la luz los sentimientos es quizás el acto mayor de valentía que hoy día pueda encontrarse.

Según mucha gente y muchos medios de comunicación, somos la generación egoísta, nos denominan la generación del YO-YO-YO, donde solo consumimos cuerpos y mentes según nos conviene y somos capaces de pegar portazo a la mínima de cambio sin pensar en la otra persona. Y no me malinterpretéis, nuestra generación me encanta, hace tiempo sí que creí que éramos personas vacías y superficiales, pero no es cierto, siempre se ha dicho que la generación presente es peor a la anterior, pero la realidad es que nuestra generación es totalmente internacional, a la que le gusta compartir idioma y cultura diferentes, hay mucho más respeto por el desigual y no solo más respeto sino una inmensa curiosidad por el mundo. Es mucho más fácil viajar ahora y aun que no queramos esta difícil el ser un estrecho de mente hoy día (aunque muchos lo consiguen).

Somos una generación que no busca un trabajo fijo o un gran sueldo sino disfrutar el tiempo que estamos aquí (el famoso carpe diem) y es maravilloso, pero irónicamente creo que esta situación nos impide disfrutar de muchas cosas. Llevado al amor, ese vivir el momento, tan extremo como lo entendemos hoy, no suelen dejar (aunque algunos sí que consiguen ese equilibrio) espacio para el compromiso, o las relaciones a largo plazo, cultivando algo por una o más personas. El vivir el momento de hoy entiende vivir algo esta noche, y que no te ate nada porque la vida son dos días. Y oye que viva el sexo de una noche, el disfrutar aquí y ahora porque te lo pide el cuerpo, pero ¿hasta qué punto nos hace eso llenar vacíos que no sabemos expresar o gestionar por nosotros mismos?

Vivimos en la era de la inmediatez, cuando queremos algo lo tenemos, porque venimos de una generación que les faltaron muchas cosas y ellos han querido que a nosotros no nos falte de nada. ¿son ellos acaso culpables de algo? Pues sí y no, lo son, pero desde el cariño de quien quiere lo mejor para nosotros y eso no puede ser malo, simplemente diferente, como usemos este punto es lo que nos diferencia. Todo tiene su transición en esta vida y cada generación cambia por o gracias a la anterior, según los ojos que miren.

En conclusión, no creo en el alma gemela, no creo que dios o el mundo haya colocado a alguien especial para ti y ya está, viene y se queda por arte divino. Creo en el amor surge del conocimiento mutuo y del interés, que se curra, porque se trabaja, que se cultiva, una balanza de cosas buenas y malas que compartes con una o varias personas que hacen tu vida más bonita. No soy socióloga ni nada parecido, solo me planteo cuando comenzó a ser mucho más íntimo quedar con alguien en un parque que acostarse con ella.

Una vez me pregunté, ¿qué papel tan crucial tiene la vulnerabilidad en las relaciones? Esa confianza ciega donde se aprende tanto y se pasa tan mal a veces, esa que nos da tantísimo vértigo a todos.

Pensar en lo simple que es en realidad el amor, lo que se gana tomando algo con alguien, entre risas y conversaciones donde el tiempo pasa volando, donde apuestas por las personas, donde una relación de amor no es más que crecimiento, madurez y evolución. Donde ser vulnerable es una apuesta riesgosa pero satisfactoria donde por mucho que parece que pierdes, solo puedes ganar. Porque la vida solo es vida, si sientes y apuestas el corazón en esta difícil partida que es el amor.

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